Never Too Late!

Never Too Late!
any resemblance to anyone real or imaginary is mere bad luck
we are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are trying to get up


Gleeful descent into incoherence

What if we all had periscopes? What if we spied on each other all the time, instead of watching TV?

Previous to the voyeurist revolution this sort of activity was highly frowned upon, but has become increasingly accepted in recent years.

Spying and counter-spying electronic equipment proliferate. Most people recognise some sort of limits, though…

The end times are coming, despite New Labour’s assurances to the contrary. Banks and credit systems will fail. Don’t be a fool! Rely on governments no longer! Your funds are safe with us.

A New Labour market researcher without numbers to call is like a camp guard without corpses to check for gold teeth… They got my number from somewhere and phoned me up for some opinions…

"Opinions? What sort of opinions?"

"Oh I don’t mind, any opinions."

Surreal as everything is getting, I look and I see that it is good. I’m God. I created it thus, and so it must be good. By very definition. I don’t know why, I don’t remember right now, but I must have had a good reason. I made it easier for my ex-girlfriend to get laid than me - I don’t know why - I created it thus and it must be good.

How do I know I’m God? When I take drugs, other people stop working.

I am God, smiling benignly on my creation as I walk down Mare Street, especially on the Turkish girl in the black dress.

What steps can be taken to increase mental alertness and decrease the amount of stupidity?

(Pranayama: good for all things! Acne, addiction to internet porn, homelessness, unemployment, self-loathing, puritanism, shyness, earwax, bad breath, genocidal rage and airplane hijackings! The warm endorphin glow after sex (also yoga or exercise) is conducive to intelligence. Eating well is absolutely necessary to intelligence.)