Never Too Late!

Never Too Late!
any resemblance to anyone real or imaginary is mere bad luck
we are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are trying to get up


Long drive for someone with nothing to think about

Fun games to play to enliven long gruelling drives on Afghan roads

[again, hopefully to be added to]

Playing chicken with ISAF convoys

You're not allowed to pass ISAF convoys. They are authorised to shoot. If you get stuck behind tortuously slow heavy military transports plus escorts hogging the road, that's just too bad.

Of course, this provides opportunities for great entertainment. Come as close as you can to tailgating the rear vehicle. Weave left and right erratically. Attempt to accelerate past by driving up the bank by the side of the road, preferably on the right.

If you get a soldier leaning out of one of the vehicles and pointing a rifle at you, you get 10 points. If you get a warning shot, 25 points. If you get a badly-aimed burst of automatic fire that miraculously misses everyone in your vehicle, 50 points. If you end up severely injured, 100 points. If your passengers are wounded, you lose all your points. If you end up dead, you miss your next turn and all turns thereafter.

Stop for green tea and cigarettes, change drivers, catch up that convoy, and repeat.

Incidentally, it is not recommended to play this game with American ISAF convoys, as not only will you end up dead (which is your own affair, after all), but you will probably be responsible for massive loss of life as they call in airstrikes on every herd of goats, village, roadside kebab guy and Afghan police checkpoint within a mile radius.

Fun with minefields

Pull over by the side of the road by a minefield. These are often clearly marked using red-painted rocks (white paint means the area is de-mined and safe, blue means it's a former battlefield or potential minefield which hasn't been checked yet).

Take turns throwing great big heavy rocks or goats into the minefield until something goes bang. First one to set off an explosion obviously wins.