I, too, watch for the silent and hideous ones. A glimpse can be caught sometimes, in an eye or a particular walk. I am compelled, having recognised one, to not ignore them like a sane person and hurry on, eyes front, to the pool of light under the next streetlamp. Instead I have to court danger, flirt with madness, violence, sudden brutal death.
Why? There is something, maybe, I hope to learn from them. But I cannot openly approach them for teaching, of course, it is not the nature of the game. I have to attract their malevolent gaze, make it fall on me. I have to provoke them to play, I have to give them something worth their attention. Why should they deign to match their powers against mine? To present them an entertaining diversion requires extra-ordinary mental toughness from me.
This mental toughness is why I have taken to playing the game. I am honing my fighting instinct to a fine edge, and my consciousness and alertness expand, in every area of my life.
