Never Too Late!

Never Too Late!
any resemblance to anyone real or imaginary is mere bad luck
we are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are trying to get up

19.10.05

competition closed; R&B wins. He also happened to give a strong reply, as did several others (mikey, Nardac get honourable mentions, also angie, for succinctness - the quality I admire most in a writer). However, the winner was selected by the roll of two dice; R&B topped the list with an 11. Will be in touch by email for postal address; the book will follow in its own good time.

The consolation prize was going to go to transience (roll of 8), but then I realised I can offer nothing to a woman who has everything: the most beautiful way with words, her own island, and panties of the subtlest sky-blue with a rare tropical orchid print. Instead, next is tequilita (roll of 7), who wins - at long last! - a link in the Arbitrary Blogworld Sampler sidebar.

Dave Bones the terrorist lover is henceforth banned from realgem for his derogatory comments (not insulting to me, but to my readers: for ascribing - "they just feel sorry for you" - the disgusting arrogance of the sense of pity to my readers, whom I love).

That was 10 entries, just. I really would have done it - deleted it all. Girlie saved realgem, and wins a special holiday in north London starting Thursday...

12 comments:

transience said...

you honor me too much, mike. i'm just sorry i didn't win.

R&B said...

Wow! I win? I never win anything. The owl gods must have smiled on me. Or something. An eleven? Not bad.

So what's that in Transience's mouth?

transience said...

i say it's a moonbeam being regurgitated by bjork (not me) over and over. fist calls me cumpuker. go figure.

congrats for winning, R&B. maybe your owl god should bless me. all i have is a tiny ramen god.

I.:.S.:. said...

If you're curious about the owl-god references, you can look here or there's an article about it here, or just poke around on that site for stories and videos about Moloch, the Owl of Bohemia, the Skull & Bones Society, and other sinister occult stuff pertaining to the real rulers of our world...

R&B said...

I read your site, transience ... ooof.

So, that's not you? Too bad ...

There, on the tongue, I thought that was ecstacy (with all of the implications) ...

I don't really have an owl god, but I like owls ... and moonbeams.

I.:.S.:. said...

You're right, I do honour you too much, cumpuker. You see now, R&B, what sort of women of ill-repute I get hanging around here? Anyway, I am at a loss what sort of book to send someone blond, right, and christian - something more wholesome than either northern-way or realgem, no? have you read the best democracy money can buy?

Oh! I am so sorry, sometimes I blurt things out. I just took two cheap digs at two honoured guests here, one on the basis of the contents of her stomach, the other on his hair colour and religion. (as to right, is that as opposed to wrong, or as opposed to left? or as opposed to acute or oblique or obtuse or as distinct from a duty?) Forgive me, both of you... besides, cumpuker is no insult in my books anyway... now let's see whether I pass the letters recognition test today... this looks like a hard one...

transience said...

i am appalled, mike. i didn't think the northern way was in any way wholesome. heh.

R&B, which site? and what does ooof mean? i don't need drugs to make me roll in the implications, incidentally. my high is organic and much more potent. you are quite adorable, really.

Girlie said...

Do I get to take a friend on this holiday?????

I think you already know who my ideal candidate is.....

dave bones said...

banned? whatIdo?

R&B said...

Lazy; Is the best democracy money can buy? a conspiracy book about Bush? I've probably heard them all. When the right is in power, the left hatches conspiracy theories. When the left is in power, the right eats the same reformulated theories whole. Why not something cultural. I'm fascinated by "squatting". What is it? Why would you do it? Why don't you write the book?

transience; Ooof is West Texan for ... ooof! A natural high huh, that's the best kind for sure. Prayers for your brother.

bones; Where'd you go?

I.:.S.:. said...

Transience is here, she's the one holding the right hand of the devil. You have to scroll down the screen a bit to see the picture.

I.:.S.:. said...

R&B, have you read any Pynchon or Vonnegut?

Can you email me privately about this, please?

Best,

Mike.